You already amaze me. Inside, you are always calm and gentle and I feel like I already know you a little. Your dad and I are so excited to meet you! We have an amazing birth experience planned for you. Even if things don’t go exactly how we picture, know that we are bringing you into this world with so much love. 

Today, you and I snuggled in the sun on a blanket in our yard. I can’t wait to show you the flowers and grass, and have you feel the breeze on your skin for the first time. There is a lot going on in our world that is scary… but as I drove down the coast tonight and watched the sun set in a misty far away fog, I relished that there is still so much beauty.

Our home and lives aren’t perfect – so get used to a little chaos, some messes, and some big emotions. Your dad and I love each other very much, yet sometimes our opinions and strong feelings get in the way. We’re going to do our best to create a warm, creative, active childhood for you and fill up your life with bright ideas, imagination, and a love for nature.

You’ll be here before we know it- maybe in just a few weeks! And, we are about as ready as we could be. We don’t know what kind of baby you’ll be – will you cry and fuss? Will you be calm and observant? However you are, you are free to be that little person. We’re going to love you no matter what. We’re getting excited now. I have a feeling you’ll be here early – what do you think? Everyone has taken guesses about when you’ll arrive, but only you know for sure when you’ll be coming! When will be your birthday?

You’ve been so kind to me. I will always be thankful for such an amazing pregnancy – you’ve already made a big impression on me! I’ve tried to take good care of you – I think you might like vegetables… I eat them a lot! And pomegranate juice… 

Hudson – I have so much hope and expectancy now. When the time is right, we’ll be ready to receive you! 

Love,

Your Mama

I can’t wait to meet him.

His nursery is slowly being prepped. We still have a lot of decorating to do – I want it to be a bright, sunny space with lots of color. We’re still going with an eclectic modern theme, and trying to extend that to his growing wardrobe as well. It’s hard to find outfits that aren’t traditionally-themed, but I’ve put a few on our registry. I also found the most AWESOME crib set. I know Hudson might not appreciate our aesthetic yet, but it will sure make for a fun space for mommy and daddy to hang out in!

Today, I came across a great blog post, which made me smile… “Wouldn’t it be great if every new parent was given a nicely wrapped package of wisdom along with their positive pregnancy test? Big boxes of patience, humor and hindsight would help too.” I’m going to try REALLY hard not to stress out too much over every little thing, wondering if we are doing things “right.” There is no right way! As long as Hudson is eating, growing, learning, and breathing then we’ll all get through any tough times ahead. We’ll have to remember how short the newborn phase really is… I hope that we can look past the haze of exhaustion, feedings, and our uncertainties to really relish this time with our son.

I can’t believe how quickly time is flying! And, with remodeling our house, working full time, and the holidays… we’ve certainly been keeping busy.

We’ve decided on a name – he will be Hudson Michael… we can’t wait to meet him. With each movement, I feel more and more bonded to him. And he definitely has a mind of his own! Of course, when his daddy tries to feel kicks, he doesn’t cooperate (except for once… which was so exciting!). I found out at my last ultrasound (at 2o weeks) that he weighs approximately 14oz, and is a week ahead of schedule based on size. However, this “schedule” business is really about as solid as a cumulonimbus… so we’ll see when he’s ready to arrive. I’m predicting an April birthday, but he could be born anwhere up to about May 8th… It will be fun to find out!

We are now on the downhill slope, heading closer and closer to delivery day. But lots of fun things still await – getting his nursery ready in our newly renovated home, baby showers, both the daddy’s and my 30th birthdays, our anniversary, and many more! We are so fortunate that this pregnancy has come with relatively few mood swings, no sickness or discomfort to speak of, and normal weight gain. I think I might just be the luckiest mom-to-be!

Everything looked pretty good at the ultrasound. They checked all the different parts of the anatomy and organs, and said everything looked normal. The only “issue” they saw was a bright spot on the baby’s heart, which is sometimes a marker for Down Syndrome. But, it’s usually meaningless. Because my quad-screen results were so good, the doctor said not to worry, everything should be fine, and so no worrying here!

The baby measured a week ahead of schedule again, so I still have a feeling that he’s coming in April… we’ll just have to see! He weighs about 6 ounces now and is 5 inches from head to rump. Since I had a LEEP procedure in the past, the doctor also examined my cervix (I know… TMI), and said everything looks great! My 2 fibroids have remained the same small size, and are not in the path of delivery, so all in all, it’s been an uneventful, healthy pregnancy!

I’ve started to feel little kicks, especially when I sneeze. The baby must either really like it, or really hate it! It’s about the only time so far that I feel any flutters. Although I think he as trying to send me a message last night that everything is okay – I couldn’t get to sleep, thinking about our renovation and finding out the sex… and I kept feeling little flutters all night… Just a precursor of what’s to come!

I am now 16 weeks, 3 days along, and am just barely starting to show. In a few more weeks, a stranger on the street MIGHT be able to tell, although I doubt it!

I can’t wait to plan the nursery, think of all the fun creative things our son can do with us, and dream about meeting him… It’s amazing to finally know who is in there! He’ll have so much fun learning about the world, I can’t wait to create his green, creative, active childhood… I love him already!

I can’t believe that the little one is already about 5 inches long. Where is it in there? I can’t see much of a bump yet, although I’m sure I’ll look back on this picture and reminisce about the days when I could see my feet!

Next Monday, my husband and I might find out the baby’s sex – if the ultrasound goes well and the baby is developed far enough (and positioned well). Since it’s so early, I’m not putting much stock into what they say unless they are very confident in their prediction. I certainly won’t be painting anything blue or pink! Not that I would anyway – I’m thinking more along the lines of a black, gray, and white nursery with pops of color like orange, lime green, and light yellow….

This week, we signed up for childbirth classes – we’ll be studying the Mongan method, aka Hypnobirthing. We really want to strive for a natural childbirth, and will be writing our birth plan soon. Although, if some intervention needs to be done for the health of me or the baby, then I’m quite alright with it! Hypnobirthing is very much in line with the rest of my values, and with how I’ve been approaching this from the beginning. My body and the baby know what they are doing, and by learning how to relax through contractions and labor pain, a pain-free natural childbirth is possible. I am excited and optimistic about labor and delivery, believe it or not!

Yesterday, my first issue of Parents magazine came, and there was an amazing article which I really connected to – about how less is more during childhood and slowing things down. Its the first article about parenting that I really connected with, that expressed the kind of childhood I’m yearning to create for the baby. Full of creativity, family outings, free play time, lazy weekends, imagination games, coloring, making nests and forts, and spending lots of time outside. Doesn’t that sound wonderful! I want my children to be free, instead of hovering over them, scheduling every move they make, and keeping them within arms reach all the time. 

Whatever happened to just letting kids be kids? One of the best things for child development is unscheduled play time, and I feel like its become this lost art – many kids don’t know how to play by themselves, or need constant stimulation from tv, music, etc. 

I want to approach parenting like I have approached this pregnancy… relaxxxxxxxed. I’m confident in myself and my husband – that everything will be fine, that we have the ability to let go and let our children bloom into independent little creative creatures. That we don’t need lots of STUFF to entertain the kids. A sky full of clouds, dandelions, a bike ride – those are the pleasures of childhood. I, for one, cannot wait to relive them.

Well, the little one has become a full blown baby!  I can’t believe how big it is already – about 3 inches from head to rump – the size of a peach. Seeing the baby move around like a little butterfly and jump when I coughed was pretty amazing. I can’t believe how much movement is going on in there that I can’t feel at all!

Someday soon, I’ll start to feel little flutters, or bubbles popping – I can’t wait for that. To feel it move! It will feel even more real then. Even now, seeing the baby projected on a screen above me, it’s somehow surreal. I don’t look very pregnant, and I feel great – so somehow it hasn’t fully sunk in that there really is a baby in there, growing exponentially. I’m sure that one day soon, my belly will pop, and I’ll feel like a blimp – but for now, I just feel like… well… ME! I’m just so excited about what’s in store for us, and I don’t feel one bit nervous – I just know everything will be okay.

And, the test results came back completely normal, too. So all seems to be going well in my little baby house…

It’s so exciting to be expecting a baby, that it’s hard not to get wrapped up in wanting all the STUFF that comes along with it. Every little bib, outfit, nursery accessory is so tempting! We are incredibly lucky that my husband’s sister has three little ones, two boys and a girl. So, we’ll be getting more hand-me-downs from them than we’ll know what to do with. And what could be more green than gently used goods that have much life left?!

So many of the traditional things one might register for are already taken care of – crib, bassinet, changing table (we think), rocker, pack-n-play, clothes, etc. So, for our layette, we are looking at a unique way of registering for those things that are eco-friendly, handmade, or that won’t be included with the massive hand-me-downs. Even though we’re trying to be simple and green with the baby, some things are just hard to live without.

And, it’s hard to find everything in one place, especially when we’re looking for mostly organic fabrics, handmade goods, etc. So we’ve set up a registry through myregistry.com – allowing us to register for items from any online store that we come across – including etsy – where I’ve found a simple handmade sling, a beautiful felt mobile, and unique artwork to decorate the baby’s room in our unisex modern boho meets art market theme… I highly recommend this registry tool – it’s completely customizable, and they don’t charge any fees or surcharges for the items you add to the registry. You can even create a cash fund for things like birthing classes, a doula, or other unique needs that parents-to-be might need help paying for. Diaper Service? Daycare? Really the sky is the limit.

In mid-August, I definitely felt different than normal. I was expecting my cycle on the 21st, and the entire week prior, I was very moody, and had these funny little cramps that would happen in the middle of the night and wake me up. I wasn’t in pain or anything, I just felt strange. So, when my cycle did not arrive the morning of the 21st, I had a pretty good feeling that something was going on. I bought a pregnancy test at lunch, and decided to wait until the next day to see if anything changed and I didn’t need to test.

I tossed and turned all night, and at 6am, I woke up, jumped out of bed, and took the test. When the “Yes” popped up, I exclaimed (to my dog), “I KNEW IT!” and hopped around the hallway clasping the test.

Justin wasn’t home yet from a night away, so I capped the test and slipped it into a baby bottle to give him when he came home. I made him close his eyes, and put our “anniversary present” into his hands. (August 22 is our 8 year anniversary of getting together.)

He was suprised, happy, and… more surprised… It happened so fast for us, and we’re extremely grateful.

More posts to come on how we are trying to keep this pregnancy green!

Check out www.walkscore.com! My neighborhood scores an impressive (I think!) 72 out of 100, and lists some parks and shops I’d completely forgotten!

We already walk to our local farm stand for our weekly fresh fruits and vegetables (and the occasional Popsicle indulgence)… Now I have a lot more ideas about where we can walk to, both now with our dog, and later with baby-to-be. Maybe our healthy habits and eco savvy choices will help our child to be more conscious about both their health and the environment.

Hopefully, the pitter-patter of little feet around here will be often accompanied by our grown up ones… going for a walk in the ‘hood!