Dear Hudson,

You already amaze me. Inside, you are always calm and gentle and I feel like I already know you a little. Your dad and I are so excited to meet you! We have an amazing birth experience planned for you. Even if things don’t go exactly how we picture, know that we are bringing you into this world with so much love. 

Today, you and I snuggled in the sun on a blanket in our yard. I can’t wait to show you the flowers and grass, and have you feel the breeze on your skin for the first time. There is a lot going on in our world that is scary… but as I drove down the coast tonight and watched the sun set in a misty far away fog, I relished that there is still so much beauty.

Our home and lives aren’t perfect – so get used to a little chaos, some messes, and some big emotions. Your dad and I love each other very much, yet sometimes our opinions and strong feelings get in the way. We’re going to do our best to create a warm, creative, active childhood for you and fill up your life with bright ideas, imagination, and a love for nature.

You’ll be here before we know it- maybe in just a few weeks! And, we are about as ready as we could be. We don’t know what kind of baby you’ll be – will you cry and fuss? Will you be calm and observant? However you are, you are free to be that little person. We’re going to love you no matter what. We’re getting excited now. I have a feeling you’ll be here early – what do you think? Everyone has taken guesses about when you’ll arrive, but only you know for sure when you’ll be coming! When will be your birthday?

You’ve been so kind to me. I will always be thankful for such an amazing pregnancy – you’ve already made a big impression on me! I’ve tried to take good care of you – I think you might like vegetables… I eat them a lot! And pomegranate juice… 

Hudson – I have so much hope and expectancy now. When the time is right, we’ll be ready to receive you! 

Love,

Your Mama

We have 13 weeks left until baby Hudson is due, and I cannot believe how quickly time has flown by. I’ve always heard that your pregnancy will be over before you know it, and I definitely believe it now! I’m finally starting to “show” and my little bump is rapidly growing. Hudson is getting stronger too… he’s kicking and punching, and he is facing out, so his little face is smashed up against my belly. The other day at our ultrasound, we saw him stick his tongue out at us!It’s definitely starting to feel very real, and I know he’ll be here and integrated into our lives before we can blink.

I can’t wait to meet him.

His nursery is slowly being prepped. We still have a lot of decorating to do – I want it to be a bright, sunny space with lots of color. We’re still going with an eclectic modern theme, and trying to extend that to his growing wardrobe as well. It’s hard to find outfits that aren’t traditionally-themed, but I’ve put a few on our registry. I also found the most AWESOME crib set. I know Hudson might not appreciate our aesthetic yet, but it will sure make for a fun space for mommy and daddy to hang out in!

Today, I came across a great blog post, which made me smile… “Wouldn’t it be great if every new parent was given a nicely wrapped package of wisdom along with their positive pregnancy test? Big boxes of patience, humor and hindsight would help too.” I’m going to try REALLY hard not to stress out too much over every little thing, wondering if we are doing things “right.” There is no right way! As long as Hudson is eating, growing, learning, and breathing then we’ll all get through any tough times ahead. We’ll have to remember how short the newborn phase really is… I hope that we can look past the haze of exhaustion, feedings, and our uncertainties to really relish this time with our son.

At 21 weeks, baby boy has been nothing but EASY! He’s kicking and punching a lot, and very active during the day. He seems to get a second wind about 9:30, and then calms down for the night. Maybe *hopefully* he will keep up this pattern when he’s born… we’ll have to see! The little bump is growing every day, and at my last appointment, I’d gained a total of 10 pounds, which is exactly where I should be this far along in the pregnancy.

I can’t believe how quickly time is flying! And, with remodeling our house, working full time, and the holidays… we’ve certainly been keeping busy.

We’ve decided on a name – he will be Hudson Michael… we can’t wait to meet him. With each movement, I feel more and more bonded to him. And he definitely has a mind of his own! Of course, when his daddy tries to feel kicks, he doesn’t cooperate (except for once… which was so exciting!). I found out at my last ultrasound (at 2o weeks) that he weighs approximately 14oz, and is a week ahead of schedule based on size. However, this “schedule” business is really about as solid as a cumulonimbus… so we’ll see when he’s ready to arrive. I’m predicting an April birthday, but he could be born anwhere up to about May 8th… It will be fun to find out!

We are now on the downhill slope, heading closer and closer to delivery day. But lots of fun things still await – getting his nursery ready in our newly renovated home, baby showers, both the daddy’s and my 30th birthdays, our anniversary, and many more! We are so fortunate that this pregnancy has come with relatively few mood swings, no sickness or discomfort to speak of, and normal weight gain. I think I might just be the luckiest mom-to-be!

Today, we found out the most exciting news! We are expecting a boy! I had a sneaking suspicion that “it” was a boy – because all signs (chinese calendar, old wives tales, cravings, etc) pointed to girl. I just had a feeling that our little one would have a sense of irony, and I was right!

Everything looked pretty good at the ultrasound. They checked all the different parts of the anatomy and organs, and said everything looked normal. The only “issue” they saw was a bright spot on the baby’s heart, which is sometimes a marker for Down Syndrome. But, it’s usually meaningless. Because my quad-screen results were so good, the doctor said not to worry, everything should be fine, and so no worrying here!

The baby measured a week ahead of schedule again, so I still have a feeling that he’s coming in April… we’ll just have to see! He weighs about 6 ounces now and is 5 inches from head to rump. Since I had a LEEP procedure in the past, the doctor also examined my cervix (I know… TMI), and said everything looks great! My 2 fibroids have remained the same small size, and are not in the path of delivery, so all in all, it’s been an uneventful, healthy pregnancy!

I’ve started to feel little kicks, especially when I sneeze. The baby must either really like it, or really hate it! It’s about the only time so far that I feel any flutters. Although I think he as trying to send me a message last night that everything is okay – I couldn’t get to sleep, thinking about our renovation and finding out the sex… and I kept feeling little flutters all night… Just a precursor of what’s to come!

I am now 16 weeks, 3 days along, and am just barely starting to show. In a few more weeks, a stranger on the street MIGHT be able to tell, although I doubt it!

I can’t wait to plan the nursery, think of all the fun creative things our son can do with us, and dream about meeting him… It’s amazing to finally know who is in there! He’ll have so much fun learning about the world, I can’t wait to create his green, creative, active childhood… I love him already!

Well, I’m almost 16 weeks now (4 months already!)… I can hardly believe how quickly this pregnancy is flying by. Last week, I went to another monthly appointment with my OB, and everything looked great. She had me lay back to try and measure my tummy, but when I lay down, the bump disappears completely – so she said she’ll try and measure me again next month. I’ve gained 5 pounds so far, which is right on track for a healthy weight gain, and the baby was resting with a heartrate of 146 beats per minute. My Dr’s office also had H1N1 shots, and although I haven’t been concerned about getting the flu or panicked by the media frenzy, I decided to get the shot, since it’s in short supply and it seems to be fine. I got the vaccine without preservatives in it, and I felt fine – still do. In fact, it’s like I never got the shot at all…

I can’t believe that the little one is already about 5 inches long. Where is it in there? I can’t see much of a bump yet, although I’m sure I’ll look back on this picture and reminisce about the days when I could see my feet!

Next Monday, my husband and I might find out the baby’s sex – if the ultrasound goes well and the baby is developed far enough (and positioned well). Since it’s so early, I’m not putting much stock into what they say unless they are very confident in their prediction. I certainly won’t be painting anything blue or pink! Not that I would anyway – I’m thinking more along the lines of a black, gray, and white nursery with pops of color like orange, lime green, and light yellow….

This week, we signed up for childbirth classes – we’ll be studying the Mongan method, aka Hypnobirthing. We really want to strive for a natural childbirth, and will be writing our birth plan soon. Although, if some intervention needs to be done for the health of me or the baby, then I’m quite alright with it! Hypnobirthing is very much in line with the rest of my values, and with how I’ve been approaching this from the beginning. My body and the baby know what they are doing, and by learning how to relax through contractions and labor pain, a pain-free natural childbirth is possible. I am excited and optimistic about labor and delivery, believe it or not!

…and apparently slow blog posting! I’ve really been lagging, and here it was my goal to post at least once per week while pregnant. I’m sure it will be even harder when little one arrives! I am already almost 15 weeks along, and time is flying. At first, it seemed like each day dragged on, and each appointment was sooooo far away. Now we are a little over a week from *hopefully* finding out the sex. And we’re almost halfway through! I cannot believe it. The house is nowhere near ready… it’s constantly a mess, as my nesting instinct is REALLY lacking at the moment, and we are pre-remodel and not very motivated to clean our soon-to-be gutted bathroom.

Yesterday, my first issue of Parents magazine came, and there was an amazing article which I really connected to – about how less is more during childhood and slowing things down. Its the first article about parenting that I really connected with, that expressed the kind of childhood I’m yearning to create for the baby. Full of creativity, family outings, free play time, lazy weekends, imagination games, coloring, making nests and forts, and spending lots of time outside. Doesn’t that sound wonderful! I want my children to be free, instead of hovering over them, scheduling every move they make, and keeping them within arms reach all the time. 

Whatever happened to just letting kids be kids? One of the best things for child development is unscheduled play time, and I feel like its become this lost art – many kids don’t know how to play by themselves, or need constant stimulation from tv, music, etc. 

I want to approach parenting like I have approached this pregnancy… relaxxxxxxxed. I’m confident in myself and my husband – that everything will be fine, that we have the ability to let go and let our children bloom into independent little creative creatures. That we don’t need lots of STUFF to entertain the kids. A sky full of clouds, dandelions, a bike ride – those are the pleasures of childhood. I, for one, cannot wait to relive them.